Road test of MV-Agusta800 BRUTALE 2013 Roadster killer blood shot

that was Saturday, and my jaw is still itching. A slap! No, more than that, to be precise: a slap in the face and then a big, fat slap in the face. The MV-Agusta 800 Brutale is exactly that. A roadster to challenge the stars of the segment, led by Kawasaki Z 800, Suzuki 750 GSR and Yamaha FZ8, as well as the outsiders. And its arguments are well and truly there: the design is a slap in the face, and the engine is a slap in the face that awakens a mixture of happiness and fear.

we're in test-express mode. As a result, I haven't taken much time to detail the little Brutale. I therefore invite you to form your own opinion, although it is already seriously influenced by Massimo Tamburini's original design. Beautiful, desirable, compact, a "ball-of-nervousness" in waiting, the Italian girl tends to approach fantasy. She's the high school girl everyone wanted to date. Alas, we're not going to do any more touring of the young lady, as I have to get her back in a hurry, so let's get down to business and head up to La Feclaz.

contact. The three-cylinder engine wakes up in a bad mood. Far from the polished mechanicals that have invaded us for some time now, the 798 cm3 grumbles as soon as it's started up. It growls, it rages... At low revs, you'd think it was digesting pebbles before sending a handful of gravel back into the crankshaft. Combined with the metallic Italian melody, the vocal atmosphere at the handlebars of this MV3 is an aural delight.
I wind up gently, attacking the climb with delicacy, a few bends go by, the cars fade into the background. Well, let's open it up a bit to vvvvooiiiiiiihaaaarrrrrr..... !!!!!!!

"Calm down! Calm down! Calm the fuck down!" I shout at the machine. I've just taken THE slap. Turning the throttle generously but not excessively, the 800 Brutale starts looking for a shortcut to the clouds without taking the road. With no detours and no delicacy, it doesn't take long for the engine to show its character. If you want to accelerate, he pushes without waiting; if you want watts, he sends them with insistence. What vivacity, what ardor, what a mess. He's bad, he's hard-hitting, he grabs you by the gut. Brutal and unrestrained, he quickly takes the lead. Brilliant! What a thrill, and what a lurch. He launches into the towers with fearsome fury and hysterical bellowing. A dose of composure soon becomes indispensable. Calm down occasionally, because the 3-legged won't do it for you.
While this engine quickly gets the adrenalin pumping and the emotions flowing under the helmet, it does represent a drawback... or rather a warning. Whether you're a beginner or an optimistic geek, watch out! This thing is just waiting to blow up in your face if you don't show it a modicum of respect combined with a spoonful of humility.

now that I know the fire is teasing the powder between the steel tubes of the chassis, it's time to grab the brakes to avoid smacking into the cliff. The Brembo logo on the 4-piston radial calipers was the first reassuring mark of quality, the lever grip the second. With a great feel and plenty of power, the brakes offer a sporty response. You modulate the force applied to the discs with the touch of a finger, then make full use of the gniak of the lumbar jaws. Be careful in the wet: their power is such that the front end could be gamelled on wet roads.
The rider will be less tempted to use the rear brake. Shifted to the inside and difficult to grab, the pedal requires a moment of searching with the foot. Once found, the response is unambiguous. There's little feeling and it jams very quickly.

well, the clock's ticking, I've got to get the missus back, and it won't be long before she tells me everything she has in store for her future lover. The 800 Brutale is one of those motorcycles that takes time to tame. More adept at watching the road unfold at wind speed than observing the dashboard, its review will be quick and easy. It's not easy to find the right information in this very rich instrument cluster. In my opinion, the numbers aren't thick enough for easy reading. What immediately struck me as annoying was the position of the controls on the left-hand comodo. When trying to activate a blinker, my thumb lands on the horn. These controls should be reversed.

beautiful, sporty and surprising, not to say stunning, the MV-Agusta 800 Brutale is also... brutal. Especially its engine, which is anything but a well-educated little mill. And that's something! With its unmistakable lines, single arm, triple exhaust and headlight, the Varese roadster is clearly a cut above the rest. To keep the illusion of my light-hearted allusions alive, imagine having a cappuccino with your high-school sweetheart, who then goes nuts and slams you into the wall.
OK, so the review focuses on the positive points, the machine's responsiveness and feel. But it's impossible to badmouth it in such a short space of time. It's up to you to get past the "love at first sight" stage and find out what's wrong.

Test and image credits: M.B